If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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