What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
