i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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