Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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