Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
