just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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