Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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