then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
