Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
