Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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