i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
