There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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