You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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