As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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