It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize