I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
