there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
