if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
