Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
