we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
