I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
