I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
