I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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