So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize