This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
