I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
