the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
