didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
