a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
