That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The air taste purple.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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