When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
