Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
