If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
