Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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