I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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