there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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