dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
