pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
