so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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