wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
ttyl tear gas
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
