Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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