Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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