woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
