come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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