Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
