Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
