Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
That reminds me...we need to get swords
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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