yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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