Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
