Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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