I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was confusing and full of hummus
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
