That's intense
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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