he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
