Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
