So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
