you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize