my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
