i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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