Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize