My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
