Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
