So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I look better un-naked...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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