Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
