We're facebook friends in real life
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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