shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
