I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
