i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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