i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
